For the man I love..

<---That smile right there, Gives me the reason I do today, I don't know where I'd be in life if I didn't meet that man. I use to be in a bad relationship before I met that wonderful man. But he showed me I can be strong, I can hold my feet down on the ground and breathe and know everything will be okay in life even at it's worst. He started off as my best friend, He started off as one of the biggest crushes I've ever had on a guy. The moment I saw his picture, the moment I saw him on webcam, I've never felt that way, but I felt like someone punched my stomach and I had butterflies everywhere. To this day I still get butterflies, talking to you. Looking at you, watching you when you sleep. I love when you snore, it's your company that I adore and love. They said True love doesn't exist unless you believe in it, You helped me believe in true love. I did not believe in it until now. This one blog, is just all for you. I am going to spill my feelings all for you. Sometimes I'm depressed, But everyone gets that way, I've never doubted our relationship because I know deep inside you are the one for me, I would never do anything to hurt you, If I hurt you I'd be hurting myself. Your personality brightens up a room, If there was a room full of people, I think the first person I'd notice would be and was you. You've seen me at my worst, when I was crying hard, when I hadn't had makeup on, When I wasn't wearing a beautiful outfit, when my hair was a mess. Yet you still stayed with me, You stayed by my side for when we had a daughter, the birth of our daughter and my pregnancy. And I think truthfully you will always be by my side, I hope I am not wrong. Sometimes, I accuse you of stuff, But that is because I am scared to loose you, I will admit I am insecure. I always ask myself "How did I end up with such a wonderful man like Regi, why does he want me, what's so special about me, there's better people out there" I think there's a point in life where reality will always set in, Like are you ready for a big step relationship like this, are you ready to have the family, are you ready to be committed to only one person for the rest of your life, my answer is yes. I am willing to have that man I grow old grey hairs with, the man we fuss about the bills with, the man that does the handy house work, the man that father's my daughter, I am ready for all of that. Hell, I'm even ready for more children with that wonderful man named Regi. It's taking me time to write this, because I'm trying to get everything out I've ever felt about you Regi, and everything I will ever feel about you.
Sometimes I get mad at you, over stupid little stuff. But hey, I'm only human, and besides that I'm a women, I have self conscious issues, I'm scared of what I look like, I have this wonderful thing called a period every month, I sleep with the t.v on at night, I yell and cry way to much, I love shopping for things for other people, I put People before myself. But that's just how I am, and you understand that, and here you are... Still with me. I cannot believe it! I'm crying while I'm writing this blog, Because it is very emotional for me.. to know where we stand right now, I didn't want it to ever be like this, I don't want you to ever feel like your not unloved, but if you ever feel the need that you are not happy in this relationship, then it needs to be gone, I never will want it to be gone.. but if you feel that will make you happy then that is what needs to be done.
Sometimes, I think you are scared of what my family thinks about you, It does not matter, all that matters is what me and our daughter think of you. I think you are a wonderful man, a wonderful father, and a wonderful fiancée, to put it simple Just a wonderful person in general. To know you might not want to live with me for now, hurts inside.. but I know that's what's makes you happy, Georgia does.. and I can never replace that. They say Home is where the heart is, Well I think that is true, I just wish I could be your home. Let's forget this sad part, and go to the happy part.. I want this future of ours to be happy! I want everything to be happy, I want our lives to be perfect. But sadly there will always be flaws in everyones life, not everyone lives forever and we only have one life. You know what I really love about you, How caring you are. You care for people way to much, you don't care what other people think in a good way, your smile brightens a room, your laugh could make everyone laugh it's just contagious, it's beautiful. Your hair, it's so funny how you always have to fix it, and I love it however you have it, I love the way your body is, Skinny or a little on the over weight side! You are always going to be perfect in my eyes. I guess, the main thing I am trying to say is.. Is that
I love you.