Things to say that will clear my mind.

Motherhood. First off all I'd like to say, It's one of the best things I've ever experienced so far in my life, a month. A beautiful month has already passed since I had that wonderful daughter of mine. She gives me the reason to smile every day, and wake up knowing that everything will be alright. How could something so small make such a big impact on my life, I do not know, Just like I do not know how our life in the future will stand. But my life will change for the best, I will always make that my priority now. When she looks me in the eyes, when I am at my worse and depressed. I can't help but smile, she holds out her little hand and holds my finger. She knows when I feel down, it's amazing how much of a connection we have, and I don't even have to say anything to her.. Nor does she. She's a healthy baby, she only cries when she wants to be cuddled with, or when she's hungry and needs her diaper changed. I am currently formula feeding her, I was breast feeding her for the first 3 weeks of her life, but my breast milk has dried up, I've tried to get it to come back. But, It just wont, and I've come to terms and am now fine with that, at least I breastfed for 3 weeks. Currently, Regi left around the 3rd of January this month, because his grandparents aren't doing so well. So I am currently taking care of the baby by myself. With my family's support and best friends support. I don't know where I'd be or if I could even do it alone. Those teenage mother's who mother their babies alone. I can't imagine how strong they are, It's so hard for me to take care of her alone but I know someone is coming back for me and his daughter. I am a teenage mother, I don't like that statement. I am just a mother like any other mother in this world. But younger than normal. Sometimes, Since I live in Washington it could be the rainiest day but with my daughter's smile and her in my arms it could be the sunniest. She makes my heart warm, I never knew anybody else could do that besides the special people I have in my life right now. I miss her little kicks when she was in my belly though, I miss getting ultrasounds and that excitement from seeing her on that little tiny screen. But, I have more to look forward to in this new life of mine. I get to look forward to Camilla saying her first word, doing her first crawl, walk, eating her first solid foods, and all that amazing stuff. I feel so blessed that I have a healthy daughter.

Thinking of the future... Makes me nervous,
Will I meet my daughter's standards, Will I still be with my baby's father, In all hopes I hope I will be. Right now me and Regi stand happy, But sometimes couples fight. And I know that turns out bad in some relationships, I'll always keep my mind open and listen to what he has to say, He gave me a promise to love me forever when he gave me the ring, and I gave him the promise that I will return that love back to him when I accepted it. Camilla is our daughter, it's not just my future, it's OUR future. My hopes are that Regi gets his dream job as one of those Weather people, He loves talking about the weather, and reading up on the weather. I don't know how he does it, or even finds it interesting, But I try to tag along on it just to let him know I'm there for him. As for me, My dream job is to become a veterinary, I know what a typical job for a teenager, Or even a kid. But I love the connection I have with animals, When I was at my loneliest when I was a child, I remember always relying on animals, they helped me. I'll never let Camilla feel that lonely, But if she ever does, I plan on always keeping an animal by her side, So when she doesn't want to talk to me. She can talk to that pet, and confide in it. Me and Regi plan on getting married sometime next year, or within a few years even. I want Camilla to be old enough to be our little flower girl and able to walk down that isle with us. I feel like my life has been so short, but it's already complete, Besides missing out on the jobs. I plan on re-entering myself back into high school sometime in September.


Some news to update you on.. Yes, Me and Camilla plan on going to Georgia sometime next month to visit Regi's side of the family and Regi of course!
Regi has been in Georgia for almost a month now because his grandparents have taken ill. But Me and Camilla will be going to Georgia for a month to visit his family, This is my first time meeting his family as well! Nervous yes! I'm so excited though, to finally meet his mom in person, and his grandparents, and the rest of his amazing family. I've heard so much about them so hopefully this trip will be fun. I'm going to miss my family that is here, but hey I'll only be gone for a month and they deserve to meet our little precious baby Camilla as well.. Well for now this is my updated blog, enjoy reading my updates. But one more thing, Camilla's one month check up with our nurse was fine, she was 8 pounds 12 ounces 21"3/8 inches, For weight she was 50% and for length she was 75% So she's a little bit taller than normal my nurse said, But that's fine. She's probably bigger than that now, Because she is 1 month 1 week and 1 days old